Sep 23, 2010

The Comic Impotence of the Indian Youth

I started writing this article in the aftermath of the Mumbai Terrorist attack. It is what I have observed and felt.
Where was I when the terrorists attacked??? I was sitting at home watching the horror unfold in front of my eyes. First I was bewildered... later furious – was wondering how these people got in and what daring to infiltrate one of the strongest pillars of Indian democracy, its financial capital. But in the end, it seemed almost comical. How could a city like Mumbai allow itself to fall prey to a prank like this.... this had to be unreal... but it was very real... real funny that is...
What did we do?? We sat in our homes while spineless pot-bellied cops tried to kill the terrorists armed with the lathis donated by the British. When i saw telephonic intercepts on the news, I was even more bewildered. In at least 2 spots, the police were inside the attacked structures at exceptional strategic locations. Could they have prevented this all? Maybe – had they been given the backup when it was required the whole tragedy could have been averted.
I felt ashamed when our home minister acted like a woman going for a party – changing clothes like a courtesan – to charm the waiting sharks. Ha... that was a sight I tell you. Hell, the navy headquarters is a stone throw away from the Taj – but they were waiting for “orders”.
But maybe we are too used to this. The political blame-game that followed was legendary. And for the first time I was reminded of the “Shame of Being an Indian”. Let me be very frank, i wanted to go out there and fight for my country. I wanted to rip those terrorists cell by the vary cell of their being. But what did i do?? I was confined to the sofa like many other youths. That was the time when i was reminded of the IMPOTENCE OF THE INDIAN YOUTH. 

Sep 8, 2010


Life right now is weird to say the least. Finally, though I never would have found it possible, I’ve found Mel... The job is as stable as ever, and life overall is good. I told her about my feelings last week, n guess what she didn’t say no!!!
We talk everyday – nearly. Though it is frankly, not enough Somehow it feels like I am trying to live a lifetime in a small moment. I have always got this feeling of a major paradigm shift a foreboding that anything could go wrong at any time.
I try to be in control, but its getting harder.  Something is fishy in this situation, as in my life till today a feeling that I was being orchestrated has followed me where ever I go. Times like these I miss her the most. My thoughts race back to the times all those years back that I spent lying in her bed, in her arms or on her lap.
On the other hand, there is the fact that my career is on the right track, so is my love life; my finances are stable and so are the people around me. I should be happy, but I am not. Satisfied, but I never am. Stable, but that seems to be a distant realm of some parallel universe. I am living a dual life, where good and bad times have actually become a single point of congruence, the same side of the same coin. I feel like a third person observing myself from a distance. What I can see is essentially good, but it is not what I am, it is not where I want to be..
 Something is always missing. 

I’m flying and i won’t come down...
Theres nobody who can mess me around....
I’m high on wings of fire... going ever higher
I know what I want, I know where to go n I am goin there now

Don’t mess with me, u can’t win
Don’t even try, or you’ll be busted in
I’m ready, but do u know whats inside me,
Push me too far, and you’ll see…